8 Ways to Help When Loving Someone With an Addiction

You don’t have to go along with this or ignore the behavior to keep the peace. Calmly tell them that what they’re doing is not OK, and disengage. Witnessing your loved one using substances can be very upsetting and stressful. Putting up with discomfort might sometimes feel easier than risking a possible confrontation. Substance use disorder may sometimes impact a person to the point of risking their job or housing.

  • So, you must approach the process with patience and compassion.
  • You may come to a point in your life where you have to let go of an addict you love.
  • Drug addiction is one of those things that cause serious relationship problems and health issues whether it’s in the long or short run.
  • In many cases, through family, friends, faith, and formal counseling, individuals struggling with substance abuse can regain health, happiness, and the promise of a bright future.

Unpredictable and dangerous, yet sometimes exciting and romantic. As the addict becomes more irresponsible, we pick up the slack and do more, often becoming the sole functioning parent or even the sole provider; yet we’re unable to lean on our partner for comfort or support. Meanwhile, we rescue him or her from disasters, medical emergencies, accidents, or jail. We make excuses for no-shows at work and family gatherings, and patch up damaged property, relationships, and self-inflicted mishaps.

Can You Stop Compulsive Sexual Behavior?

You’re so important to him but he’s pushing you to the limit and not considering really the impact on you, much like a child. He needs a radical change and challenge, outside of you. He needs to take control of his own life if he wants to keep opportunities and people in his life like you.

loving an addict

So, you must approach the process with patience and compassion. Remember, addiction is a disease, and recovery takes time. Your unwavering support can make a world of difference. You must understand the difference between supporting their recovery efforts and inadvertently enabling destructive behavior.

Setting Boundaries: Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself

Our shame isn’t warranted; nonetheless, we feel responsible for the actions of the addict. Our self-esteem deteriorates from the addict’s lies, verbal abuse, and blame. Our sense of safety and trust erodes as our isolation and despair grow.

  • If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments section at the end.
  • I keep trying to change him, bring back the man i once knew.
  • The feelings of grief and distress color the feelings you have for that person.
  • There are many reasons why you may feel it’s necessary to detach from someone with substance use disorder.

This could mean physically leaving the environment where they are using or refusing to take calls or texts when they’re under the influence. This doesn’t mean you stop caring or that you cut off contact. In https://ecosoberhouse.com/ fact, detaching can sometimes be the best way to preserve the relationship. “Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.” You won’t be able to help your partner if you can’t help yourself.

The Challenge: Are You Ready to Look at Yourself?

This is especially true if there are children involved. Some drug addicts need to hit rock bottom before they’re finally ready to admit the truth. That doesn’t mean you need to hit rock bottom with them. If you decide to leave before things go that far, you’re justified in doing so. I think I wrote a comment on this same article a few months ago, which feels like years ago since my loved one’s addiction seems to cause time to stretch, bend, and stop. What really landed with me when I read the article today was the part about how the person in active addiction feels like their behaviors are survival.

Tampa (BLOOM) – Welcome to a profound journey—one that requires immense strength, resilience, and unwavering love. Navigating a relationship with a drug addict is a challenging and emotional experience that can test the very core of a person’s being. It is a journey filled with ups and downs, hope and despair, and the constant struggle to maintain a sense of balance and self-care. One way to manage loving an addict is to try to remain on a neutral ground. Because he’s your loved one, there are two possible scenarios here if you’re not neutral. First, you could get so sucked in while helping that you gradually become addicted to him or a part of his abuse activities as well.


Her approach, grounded in self-examination, self-respect and self-care, guides us through the changes we need to make in order to break the cycle that holds us at the addict’s beck and call. I found it very easy to read and a sensible approach for so many of us stuck in our “trying to fix or support” role. I believe when someone is caught in the enabling role of a loved one, they can be helped by a sensible, clear approach. It’s not news that many family and friends get caught in the “cycle of addiction” and don’t know how to untangle themselves from the spiral of destruction the addict is engaging in.

loving an addict

You could also keep possible jewelry that could be exchanged for drugs away from them. The aim here is to avoid consciously being involved in anything related to substance abuse that does not contribute to their recovery. See a doctor for treatment if you feel like your body is not in good shape. You’re only there for intervention because loving an addict he’s your loved one. However, it’s not easy to change an addict but you could try talking to them, leading them to ways of getting help or find a way they can get addiction treatment. There’s no high probability of changing them but you could try to put up with their behavior if you can, while still being involved with them.


Compassion is a powerful tool in supporting an addicted partner. By practicing empathy and understanding, you can create an environment that fosters healing and growth. Remember, addiction is a battle your partner is fighting, and they need your support more than ever. Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself presents a dramatically fresh approach to help you get off your loved one’s roller-coaster chaos of addiction, maintain your own sanity and serenity, and live your best life.

  • Living with an addict isn’t easy and leaving them isn’t any easier.
  • This may set a precedent for creating an environment where their negative behavior can continue to go on unchecked.
  • But learn to be firm with him whether he’s an alcoholic or substance addict because it’s a necessary behavior you need to love an addict.
  • But no matter how much energy you expend, you can’t do the work for them.